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On Family

25 May

This is something I posted to Facebook, but it’s something that I think bears repeating.

I am tired of hearing this ‘I have to love them because they are family’ or ‘you have to do this for me – I’m family’. We are all born with emotional walls in our lives. If you make a friend, you make the choice to let them inside the wall and reap the consequences of that choice. But you are born with family already inside those walls, whether you like them or not.

Given that precious position in your life and in your heart automatically, family should try *harder* not to offend or hurt you, not less because ‘we’re family so it’s all good’. And yet all I see lately are families abusing other family members, hiding their abuses under the ‘but I’m family’ flag. As if that grants them some special right to hound you, to criticise you, to make you feel like dirt.

Well I say bullshit. Disrespect is disrespect and all the more cruel when it comes from ‘blood’. If anyone abuses that position in your heart that was given by chance rather than permission, then you have every right to kick them out no matter who they are.

‘But we’re family’ is no excuse for abuse – doling it out or accepting it happening. It’s time that we got this foolish notion out of our heads that family can do and treat other family as they please. ‘Family’ is not an all access pass to being a fuckwit. It means have some respect because you have been given an amazing gift.

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2012 in People, Rants

 

Random Book Reviews

23 May

I love to read.  I’ll read anything, even some crappy ass books from the Dollar Store.  I buy 20 at a time at the thrift store and will go through them in two weeks or less.  I love it.  And yet, I’m a total dork because I have never taken full advantage of my local library.  I have a card because I used the library last year to check out audio books for the hubby.  But I never really thought to go there for books.  Seems like a no duh.

Well, the library is now my new best friend.  I love Stephen King, Dean Koontz, and anything crime fiction related.  This is my opportunity to read the titles that I have a hard time getting my hands on while finding new authors.

Here are some reviews from my last round of checkouts.

Carrie | Stephen King 1974

Obviously many have seen the movie, though I just watched it for the first time a few months back.  While watching it felt like there was serious stuff missing that would make the movie better.  I was right.  The book is way better than the movie!

Ridiculed from the first grade through senior high school, Carrie White exacts a dreadful revenge on her school and her town when she unleashes telekinetic powers the night of her senior prom.

If you liked the movie, I highly recommend reading the book also because it’s way better.  I love the back story and it makes the story so much scarier.

The Door to December | Dean Koontz 1985

Cover of "Door to December, The"

Cover of Door to December, The

There are only a few Dean Koontz books that I haven’t read at least once but I for some reason had never seen this title.  It was so good I read it in about a day and a half-it only took that long because I had homework to do too!

A call in the middle of the night summoned psychiatrist Laura McCaffrey out into the rain-swept streets of Los Angeles. The police had found her husband-beaten to death. But what of her daughter, Melanie, whom he had kidnapped six years earlier? At the brutal murder scene, the police lead Laura into her husband’s makeshift lab-and open the door to a rising tide of terror that has trapped Melanie in its midst…

The book definitely sucks you in with how Koontz tells a tale and it is hard to put down.  Though it goes off into the science fiction or paranormal aspects that are key to a Koontz tell, it makes you wonder about the possibilities of things like that really happening.

Vampire Academy | Richelle Mead 2007

I tend to stay away from young adult fiction mostly because I hated that time of life, I don’t want to read about it.  And I typically stay away from anything about vampires because it is overplayed.  I’m not sure of the initial popularity of this books, and the subsequent series, but I read the Twilight Series and I think my IQ permanently dropped afterwards.  This book however isn’t like that.  This book has cussing, blood, intrigue, and nothing super out there.  I was pleasantly suprised.

St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school–it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s–the very place where they’re most in danger. Rose and Lissa become enmeshed in forbidden romance, the Academy’s ruthless social scene, and unspeakable nighttime rituals. But they must be careful lest the Strigoi–the world’s fiercest and most dangerous vampires–make Lissa one of them forever.

There are teenagers, there are vampires, some drinking, some sex, and some cussing.  But the plotline and the story of the Moroi and Strigoi and everything it involves is much more interesting than popular series today.  I believe there are more than five books and I intend on seeing where the series goes.

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Posted by on May 23, 2012 in Book Reviews, Fat Girl Approved

 

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Oregon Bans Native American Mascots In Schools

18 May

Fox News and various other news outlets are reporting that the board of education in Oregon banned Native American mascots in schools.  It doesn’t apply to private schools so Chemawa Indian Boarding School is safe-there’s some irony-and it doesn’t apply to public schools who use the mascot Warriors but they are required to change the actual image of their mascot.  Schools have a few years before choosing new mascots but I’m sure the debate will be heated until that time comes.

I spent my high school years in Oregon, in Independence to be exact, where my mascot was a panther.  I didn’t much care for high school but I’m still proud to be called a panther.  Mascots are a symbol of pride.  They adorn the sports uniforms, the diplomas, buildings, fields, and other school paraphernalia.  Yet some say Native American mascots are racist.

Give me a farkin’ break people!

A student at a school proudly sports the image of their mascot and yet if it is Native American then it is racist?  Some explain the logic in that one.

I AM Native American, or Indian for the non-PC out there.  It does not offend me to see a school using an image of a brave as their mascot, a feather, or even the dreaded tomahawk.  It’s a source of pride that someone would take a symbol from my heritage to promote their pride in their school.

Oregon isn’t the only state with similar bans, Wisconsin has one too.  In some cases schools and/or cities have worked with neighboring tribes to come to a compromise.

But here’s the thing, these kids are going to be stripped of a source of pride in their school.  Alumni will no longer be able to celebrate being a warrior, a brave, an indian.  How is that right?

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Posted by on May 18, 2012 in NOT Fat Girl Approved, Politics, Rants, Hot Topic

 

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Hypocritical Much?

25 Apr

We acquired a puppy last week.  A now 8 week old pit bull who is stinking adorable.  He was a bit of a runt because someone previously purchased him only to not treat him so nice but he’s plumping up quite nicely now and doing good.

We went to Petco to do the whole leash/harness/food/bowls/crate routine and again for cheap shot day.  Every person we saw exclaimed how cute he was, asked how old he was, what kind of dog, blah blah blah.  Some hesitated after we said he was a pit bull but mostly they oohed and aahed.

Now, in 3 months when I go back to the store for whatever necessary supplies we might need, people will flip the f*&k out when they see him because he will look like a pit bull.  And that pisses me off.

I get that the breed has a stigma along with boxers, Rottweilers, and even Dobermanns.  But give me a flipping break?!  I get that puppies are almost always super cute no matter the breed.  But I hate how hypocritical people are.

I will come across pit bull lovers and they will exclaim how wonderful our older dog is and sympathize with the plight we have as owners of the breed.  And I know that as an owner of the breed I have a higher level of work to do when we even go to the lake or the park.  And yes my older dog has a record because an idiot teased him with a stick and my dog barked and the man got scared.  Stupid.

I know I have to live with it but I still hate the hypocrisy where my puppy is so cute now but in a few months he’ll be hated simply because of how he looks.

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2012 in NOT Fat Girl Approved, People, Pets, Rants

 

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Book Review: The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson

25 Apr

About the Book

Lisbeth Salander is a wanted woman. Two Millennium journalists about to expose the truth about the sex trade in Sweden are brutally murdered, and Salander’s prints are on the weapon. Her history of unpredictable and vengeful behaviour makes her an official danger to society – but no-one can find her anywhere.

Meanwhile, Mikael Blomkvist, editor-in-chief of Millennium, will not believe what he hears on the news. Knowing Salander to be fierce when fearful, he is desperate to get to her before she is cornered and alone. As he fits the pieces of the puzzle together, he comes up against some hardened criminals, including the chainsaw-wielding ‘blond giant’ – a fearsomely huge thug who can feel no pain.

Digging deeper, Blomkvist also unearths some heart-wrenching facts about Salander’s past life. Committed to psychiatric care aged 12, declared legally incompetent at 18, this is a messed-up young woman who is the product of an unjust and corrupt system. Yet Lisbeth is more avenging angel than helpless victim – descending on those that have hurt her with a righteous anger terrifying in its intensity and truly wonderful in its outcome.

Fat Girl Thinks

When I stuck my nose into the second book of Larsson’s trilogy, I expected much of the same that I read in the first book: heaps of backstory that isn’t absolutely relevant to the complete story, but a good story nonetheless. In a way, that’s true. A heap of the first part of the book could have been chopped off, but having gotten used to Larsson’s writing in the first book and liking Lisbeth’s character anyway, I wasn’t bothered by the length.

Though this tome is massive, readers who found the first book way too full of detail will be happy to know there is more action in this book. More of the writing is directly relevant to things rather than backstory. However, once again there is a long list of names that are easy to forget and/or get mixed up. I found this more annoying in this book than the first because more of the names are important. But, I still kept up with things just fine.

I was impressed by Larsson’s overall story; there is a heap more political intrigue in Lisbeth’s past than I expected. The story is incredibly complex, and yet it didn’t take the trauma to a Hollywood-ish level, if you know what I mean. I didn’t expect to be interested in a government screw-over of a young girl’s life, but it ended up being very interesting.

Of course, it was nice to see Lisbeth feature more prominently in the story as she is a popular character.

The friend who has been lending me these books told me to tell her when I was getting to the end of this book because I would want the third straight away. She was right! Of all the cliffhangers I have read, I love this one the most. While it did make me want to jump right into the next book, it was utterly appropriate and satisfying for a cliffhanger.

I hope you know what I mean if you read it.

Fat Girl Says

I recommend this book if you have read the first one (you will like it more) or if you want to give ‘that bestseller trilogy’ a go. You can read this without reading the first book and not feel hugely out of place.

***
The Girl Who Played with Fire
Stieg Larsson
http://www.stieglarsson.com/
ISBN: 978-0307454553
Length: 630 pages

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2012 in Product Review

 

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Thieving Teenagers Suck

18 Apr

Dear Jackwagon Thieving Teenagers Driving The Black Car,

Two days ago you felt it was appropriate to walk away with 5 candy bars that my darling kindergartener was selling to raise money for his school without paying for a single one.  In some twisted sense of reasoning, you felt it okay to wait until his dad walked away to help a customer and then approach him in order to swindle the $1 candy bars away from him.

I don’t know if your parents just haven’t raised you right or if you are a product of today’s society as a whole but rest assured you will get it one of these days. How I wish it was me where I could see your license plate, remember it, then press charges for petty theft on all of you.  But alas, I wasn’t there and my son didn’t quite realize how evil you were being.

Yes, evil.

You STOLE candy bars from a SIX YEAR OLD who was raising money for HIS SCHOOL.  Oh wait, maybe you are a dropout and therefore don’t understand how school is important to some people. Or maybe you don’t understand the concept of working hard to sell something.  He was WORKING to better himself and his school.  He may not be on track to winning prizes or making money for profit but he is learning a valuable lesson and you were just plain mean.

One day, somehow you will get yours.  All of you.  I hope you choked on the almonds in the candy bar.  I hope you got a toothache from it.  I hope that someday someone steals from YOUR six-year-old.  There are a lot of bad people in this world but stealing from a child is right up there with the worst of them.

Shame on you.

Sincerely,

A Very Angry Mother

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Posted by on April 18, 2012 in Crime, Hot Topic, Life, NOT Fat Girl Approved, People, Rants

 

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Book Review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

18 Apr

About the Book

Cases rarely come much colder than the decades-old disappearance of teen heiress Harriet Vanger from her family’s remote island retreat north of Stockholm, nor do fiction debuts hotter than this European bestseller by muckraking Swedish journalist Larsson. At once a strikingly original thriller and a vivisection of Sweden’s dirty not-so-little secrets (as suggested by its original title, Men Who Hate Women), this first of a trilogy introduces a provocatively odd couple: disgraced financial journalist Mikael Blomkvist, freshly sentenced to jail for libeling a shady businessman, and the multipierced and tattooed Lisbeth Salander, a feral but vulnerable superhacker.

Hired by octogenarian industrialist Henrik Vanger, who wants to find out what happened to his beloved great-niece before he dies, the duo gradually uncover a festering morass of familial corruption—at the same time, Larsson skillfully bares some of the similar horrors that have left Salander such a marked woman. Larsson died in 2004, shortly after handing in the manuscripts for what will be his legacy.

Fat Girl Thinks

I began The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with a bit of hesitation – especially because my friend warned me that not much interesting happens until about page fifty.

She is right.

It isn’t until you meet the character of Lisbeth that you find your hook for the story. Disturbed, determined and a computer whiz, Lisbeth is a character who is immediately engaging and is – in my opinion – the reason you need to keep reading through the beginning. When the reading got heavy and the mystery of Harriet Vanger got boring, Lisbeth is the character who kept carrying me through. If you meet her and don’t like her… Well, you can probably put the book down.

From a writer’s standpoint, I don’t know how Larsson got away with what he did. He uses large chunks of description, takes incredible amounts of time on blocks of texts that are arguably unnecessary to the story and – as my friend mentioned – the hook doesn’t start until about page fifty. Those things pretty much go against all the writing ‘rules’ I was taught.

However, from a reader’s standpoint, I still found the book interesting and read it through to the end. In the last fifth, I scarcely put it down out of curiosity of how Larsson would wrap everything up. The ending is satisfying with a touch of intimate tragedy that makes it all work, but I found myself with a ‘shrug’ type of feeling rather than any immense satisfaction.

That being said, I will be reading the second – and possibly the third – book.

Fat Girl Says

I recommend this book only as an experience outside of normal writing style. This is a strange book the perplexes me, but there has to be a reason it’s on the bestseller list, right?

***
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Steig Larsson
http://www.stieglarsson.com/
ISBN: 978-0307454546
Length: 608 Pages

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2012 in Product Review

 

These Are The Moments

17 Apr

While The Author has been pulling her weight around here, I’ve been busy being pregnant.  No, that’s not a great excuse but oddly enough it’s kept me busy.  Between doctor appointments, dentist appointments, blood tests, volunteering at my son’s school, and photo shoots, it’s no wonder I’m tired all the time.  I will try to not let this post get all goofy and sentimental but I have a couple of things to point out.

We just found out we are having a girl.  This is big because we already have two boys so it’s a good way to round out our little family.  I was like 99% sure we were going to have a girl but the confirmation is nice.  And it helps explain how terrible I felt the first few months.

Our little family has joined the Y (YMCA) and it has done wonders for our health already.  Especially mine.  My blood pressure got all sorts of wonky, I was swelling up, and just overall miserable.  Now almost two months into it and I feel better than I did before getting pregnant, well on most days anyway.

My oldest is in the top of his class at school.  Yes, he is only in Kindergarten but his teacher is awesome and is giving him the opportunity to keep learning and growing and I appreciate that.  It makes me proud to see how smart he is.

All of this brings me to my main point.  Whether you are a parent, aunt, uncle, godparent, or just the cool friend to someone else’s kids, I think it is important to celebrate the everyday things, make a spectacle of the little things, and to enjoy every single moment even when you want to pull your hair out.

In the past 3 months I have had two friends who lost their babies right about the same number of weeks of their pregnancies.  The details aren’t important except that these two mothers, and their families, have to deal with a struggle and a pain that should never be their’s to bear.  Of course it makes me nervous for my own pregnancy.  But one thing I have learned from both of them is that we can’t fear everything that could wrong and we need to live for what is happening now.

I can’t guarantee that my baby will make it into this world alive.  I can’t guarantee my oldest will not have something bad happen to him next week, and who knows what trouble my youngest will get into today.  But I have to hope that I can look past the small things, celebrate the small victories, and hope for the best.

You always hear that we should cherish these moments while our kids are young and I’m finally seeing that it is true.  I can’t imagine what my friends are going through but I hope they take some consolation from the strength I’ve taken from them.

Bad things happen to good people and while it pisses me off, I will learn from it.  Others will learn from it and grow as well.  It’s all that can be done.

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Posted by on April 17, 2012 in Friends, Health, Hot Topic, Life, Parenting

 

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Book Review: Invisible by Jeanne Bannon

11 Apr

About the Book

Lola’s not pretty. Lola’s not popular. Lola wishes she could disappear … and then one day she does just that…

For seventeen-year-old Lola Savullo, life is a struggle. Born to funky parents who are more in than she could ever be, Lola’s dream of becoming a writer makes her an outsider even in her own home. Bullied and despised, Lola still has the support of her best pal Charlie and Grandma Rose.

Not only is she freakishly tall, Lola’s a big girl and when forced to wear a bathing suit at her summer job as a camp counselor, Lola’s only escape from deep embarrassment seems to be to literally vanish. Soon after, she discovers the roots of her new “ability”.

Slowly, with Charlie’s help, Lola learns to control the new super power. The possibilities are endless. Yet power can be abused, too…

Then, when tragedy strikes, Lola must summon her inner strength, both at home and at school. She has to stand up for herself, despite the temptations and possibilities of her newfound super power.

A coming-of-age story that will warm the heart.

Fat Girl Thinks

Lola Savullo is easily the best part about reading Invisible. A sweet character going through the awkwardness of figuring out herself and reconciling her dreams to her parents’ wishes, Lola has a lot to work out through the course of the book. While this alone makes her a character who is easy to bond to, she is also dealing with her self-image and that is what seals the deal for making her a memorable character.

Though there were times that I was reading this book and felt it was a little ‘young’ for me, I still enjoyed Lola’s story. I’m not five foot nine inches, but I was also a tall, big girl in high school and understood a lot of what she was going through. I like that, through it all, she stayed true to herself 99% of the time – even if it took her until the end of the book to realise what staying true to herself really meant.

Grandma Rose truly stole the stage as a great character, and I think it took a lot of guts for Bannon to create the events that happened to Rose in order to let Lola grow as a character.

I think that the timing of the story was perfect. Graduation is coming up for Lola, so there are a lot of changes happening anyway. Add to that some mysterious powers and the boy she likes finally noticing her, and you have a great atmosphere for a story all about change.

I think the thing I like best about this story is that it has a lot of lovely lessons about friendship and loving yourself, but it doesn’t get preachy. I think that the age group best suited to this book doesn’t like being preached to either, so Bannon has really covered herself in that arena.

Fat Girl Says

This is a sweet story for the younger end of the YA spectrum that is a lot of fun.

***
Invisible
By Jeanne Bannon
http://www.jeannebannon.com/
ISBN: 978-1466368750
Length: 186 pages

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2012 in Product Review

 

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Book Review: Erotica Café By Tilly Rivers

28 Mar

About the Book

The combination of food and sex is by far not a unique or new concept in the world of sexual bliss. The book Erotica Café, however, is.

A distinctive collection of fun, sexual recipes and interesting sexual facts regarding the link between food and sex.

We have included a fun “Kiss” scale from one to ten, rating each recipe. The rating formula was based on fun, passion and pleasure.

Fat Girl Thinks…

Recently I decided that I should spice up my reading list a little bit by adding something fun. Described as a sensual recipe book with humor and fun facts as well, Erotica Café, appeared to be the perfect book for me to read next.

Lo and behold, I was wrong.

I probably should have figured out by the first page with the weirdly alternating fonts and lack of chapters or other organization, but I kept on.

While many of the recipes sounded tasty and easy to make, I didn’t get to read them all. I kept getting distracted because along with no chapters, there are also often no page breaks. This book’s arrangement is like someone’s scrapbook – all kinds of interesting pieces with no organization. Let me amend that – I have seen plenty of scrapbooks more reader/viewer friendly and organized than this book.

Erotica Café, appears to be a book that its creators didn’t take seriously enough to set up in a reader-friendly manner, so I don’t think it’s any surprise that I don’t take it seriously either. I would have been immensely better if the creators had just taken some time to format it properly.

But that is a far off dream, as the publisher – Rain Publishing – no longer exists.

Fat Girl Says…

I don’t recommend this book for anything other than a laugh. If you’re looking for seductive recipes and/or erotic lore, there are plenty of better books out there that will do the job quite nicely.

***
Erotica Café
Tilly Rivers
http://www.authorsden.com/visit/author.asp?id=51701
ISBN: 978-0978125776
Length: 189 Pages

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2012 in NOT Fat Girl Approved, Product Review

 

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